Patterns In Human Behavior

While there are basic human patterns in human behavior, the way each person is wired inside themselves is unique.

In addition to cultural differences, and differences in the stages of culture a person is operating at, there are also personality differences, communication style differences, temperament differences, and differences in the ways we access information, different learning styles, and so on.

In the 80’s we taught the MaslowHierarchy of Needs.

The idea was that people progressed through the levels as the basic need of each was met, culminating at Self-Actualization.

This is a model, and models, like maps, are tools. They can help us better understand and navigate ourselves and our lives.

Another useful model, is Spiral Dynamics. It’s a group dynamics model. One of the best out there, in my opinion.

Very informative.

In this image you can easily see the relationship of the Maslow Model to the Spiral Dynamic Model

(I prefer the model before Ken Wilber got a hold of it and merged it with his Integral System.)

It’s a curious anomaly; the more you understand and accept yourself, the more understanding and accepting you can be of others.

One critical component of the companies that were able nurture a Stage 5 culture is that they made it very easy for people to learn more about themselves.

They worked with much better models of understanding basic human behavior than companies operating at the other Stages.

There are tons of free tools for learning and understanding more about yourself, and human nature, in general.

Any one can do this, if they want.

Another Example Of Living From The Inside-out

Another example of of how we all live from inside-out comes from my early days in the Air Force.

There was a sign in the shop I worked in, kinda like the memes that people used to fax before, and as they are now shared on Twitter, or Facebook.

It showed a person at the base gate asking, “What’s this base like?”

The answer was a question, “What was the last base you were at like?”

The guy at the gate responded, and was told, “That’s what’s it like here, too.”

I remember reading that cartoonish sign and being a bit perplexed as to it’s point?

I didn’t have enough life experience at that point to grasp it’s meaning.

Maybe it was the shop supervisor who clued me in on it’s meaning.

I’m curious and always asking questions.

It’s a basic observation of human behavior.

Decades later, when I ran my own business, I used this understanding in my interview process,

“Tell me what your last job was like?”

A very effective question in determining if the person was going to be someone I wanted to hire.

Where ever you go, there you are.

The Center Of Life

Life is very interesting in that somehow, in all forms of life, from a microbe, to a spider, to a whale to a human, every one experiences life as if they are the center of the universe.

People talk about narcissism, or ego, but the fact is, the perception that we are the center of our lives, is hardwired into all lifeforms. I find this fascinating and curious.

There is a mathematical construct beneath this that I would like to understand better.

An artifact of this is that most people think and feel that the way they experience the world is the way everyone else experiences the world.

There are common patterns to be sure, but the assumption that I think this way, therefore it IS this way is not really accurate.

Because I’ve done a lot different jobs in my life, and have lived in many different places, I’ve been able to see how the same patterns repeat in various spaces.

Or maybe, I’m just wired this way. When I was a kid I had more fun organizing my toys than playing with my toys. I was always sorting by different patterns.

I’ll offer an example of what I’m talking about from when I worked as a pharmacy tech in a retail pharmacy.

There was this very bizarre requirement from the corporate level that the pharmacists were to always say that the script would be ready in 5 minutes. Which is unrealistic. But, the pharmacists did what they were told.

The reason why the corporate level had this bizarre requirement probably came from some MBA fresh out of school, with lots of book smarts and no real world experience. It was goals oriented. Which often loses sight of “effectiveness.” Goals are easy to measure, effectiveness, not so easy.

The result was that people stood around waiting because they thought their script would be done in 5 minutes.

However, most of the time it was put in a queue of the scripts ahead of it and on a good day would take at least 15 minutes.

So, customers would hang out in front the of the pharmacy waiting for their script and getting increasing impatient in their energy, because they had been told it would be 5 minutes.

There’s this thing called the 2 minute rule. I remember learning about this when I was teaching leadership while in the Air Force. I’ve heard and seen this applied in all sorts of ways.

True to the 2 minute rule, the customer would realize at about 13 minutes, this is taking longer than 5 minutes and I may as well go take care of something, and leave.

This was frustrating the pharmacists to no end. They felt that people were hovering and glaring at them while they were working. And when the script was finally ready, the customer was no longer there.

After watching this a bit, and seeing the level of stress and tension building and building in the pharmacists. And this is a fairly common reaction among pharmacists which I’ll explain in a bit.

I pulled them aside and suggested a few things to help them better understand the situation.

I suggested that they ignore company policy and tell people the truth. If it will be 15 minutes before the script is done, tell them it will be 15 minutes. If the queue is so huge that’s it’s going to be 45 minutes, tell them it will be 45 minutes.

The truth is actually more respectful to the customer. Every one lives busy lives and and feels stretched for time. No one enjoys waiting unnecessarily.

I also explained that the customers waiting in front of the pharmacy was not thinking at all about the pharmacist. They were thinking about what they were going to make for dinner, or the argument they had with a co-worker that day, or what they need to do next on their to do list, and so on.

People live in the center of their lives.

A lot of people spend an enormous amount of time, energy and focus judging against something that is simply human nature. It’s not good or bad, it just IS.

Lots of suffering comes from resisting what IS.

It’s not effective to try to fight reality, it’s much more effective to work with it.

I remember reading this adage once, and it’s spot on.

Don’t worry about what people are thinking about you, because they’re not.

The Future Enters Into Us ... Long Before It Happens.

The Future Enters In Us ... Long Before It Happens.  

Rainier Maria Rilke.

The above quote has been sitting on my desk since sometime in the nineties.  I think about this idea every day.

I'm a work in progress.  We all are really.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to become friends with your future self.

Imagine Future Humanity, reaching back now, into our present.  And guiding us into our highest noblest expression.

All the wisdom traditions of the sages share an understanding of how Infinite Intelligence speaks to us.

Through the wind.

Through signs in the sky.

She is We.